Don’t you feel like Lambert sometimes?

http://youtu.be/LRtKAQJUc3g*

*The Walt Disney Company

Crime does pay….

There was this “clergy man” who said that teachers who are absent from their work with no legitimate reason is “criminal”. As, an educational supervisor, I would agree, but I would not call it “criminal”.

I supervise government school for girls in all areas of the capital.

School teachers here have up to 24 class periods a week, amounting to about 5 each day. The number of students in some classrooms range from 35 to up to 60 students. The teacher has to be there by 6:45 am and depending on the stage of the school leaves at around 1:15. There is also the task of morning and afternoon duty. The teacher has to be there by 6:15 and make sure that every student is in the school and no one is late. She has to stay after school hours and make sure everyone has gone home. Plus there are the extra- curricular activities. She has to use modern teaching methods and teaching aids. She has to be a mentor and role model for the students she teaches. With some teachers, their schools are near their homes, with others their schools are far.

Most teachers are moms with kids of their own. They are up by 5am: waking up their kids, dressing them, feeding them breakfast and then shuttling them off to their schools. After work she also has the task of supervising her own kids’ homework. Then she has to prepare her lessons for the next day or week. Some teachers are blessed by having a maid, but still it is a lot of work.

Many schools are old, dirty and overcrowded. About half the schools in the capital are rentals. The ministry rented villas or apartment buildings and used them as schools. They use the bedrooms as classrooms. Some rooms are 4×5 with about 25 to 30 students. Some of the projectors, computers and teaching aids are provided by the teachers themselves from their own pockets. The safety measures in these rented schools are almost nonexistent. These schools are catastrophes waiting to happen.

There are also the schools in underprivileged, poor, undereducated neighborhoods.  The teacher has to deal with uneducated moms who cannot monitor their children’s education, poor parents who cannot buy school bags or notebooks and broken homes.

It is exhausting. Is it criminal to take a day off every once in a while? They have 5 personal days a year. However, some “religious clergies” say no, it is not your right to take it unless there is a dire need to.

If a teacher excelled in her duties as a teacher, she is a given a piece of paper at the end of the school year thanking her. The great teachers are treated the same as the mediocre and lazy ones. There is no encouragement, no tangible reward. Those teachers who are truly dedicated are content with the advancement they see in their students.

All the government officials issuing this or that accomplishment which is mostly on paper do not have an idea as to what actually happens in public schools or what their situation is. All their children are in private schools.

As a student why am I being taught in a bedroom?

As a teacher why am I teaching in a bedroom?

Why are two students sharing a desk? Sometimes it is lack of space because the classroom is overcrowded or the classroom is small. Other times, the division responsible for distributing chairs is non-cooperative.

The ministry made a contract with a very well-respected company to construct school desks and chairs. This “respected” company took the money and contracted with small companies at a fraction of the cost. The rest of the money was pocketed.

The rented villas or apartment buildings are rented out with the cost of roughly about 130 thousand $ annually. These villas and apartment buildings are old, very old and would not even sell for that amount. Up until now, at last count there are over 200 rented schools for girls.

The government gives The Ministry of Education millions of dollars annually, by the time it reaches the schools there is none left.

Where did the money go?

Many school teachers since 1994 have been employed by the ministry on a temporary band with the salary of about 1066$ monthly. Retirement and experience are not included.  A few years ago they were officially employed by the government. Their years of experience amounting to five or six years are not even acknowledged and their salaries are low.

So, if a teacher decides to take a day off just to distress, is it “criminal”?

There are a lot of crimes committed within the girl’s education division of the ministry, but in no way, shape or form is it committed by the teachers.

This “clergy man” is living in a place, is very rich; children and grandchildren are in private schools. What right does he have to call anybody “criminal”?

The Big Bad Wolf ( Part two)

Sexual abuse in any society is a very sensitive and difficult issue to handle.  Not only in my country but also the regions surrounding us, sexual abuse within the family is scandalous. It can ruin families and tarnish their reputation. There are institutes and foundations that can harbor a sexually abused victim, but rarely does anyone resort to them.

In this place I live in, people are abnormally aware of sexual molestation from a relative, yet they do not address the issue. Some time ago, my friend told me that she never ever hugged her brothers or father. She always gave them a distant light peck on the cheek. I asked her “why?” She said, “They are men after all, I do not want to entice them in any way, the devil has not died.”

I looked at her disbelieving in what she had said and sad for her at the same time. Sad, because she truly believed that if her father or brother showed any sexual interest in her, that it might have been her fault, she might have contributed to those feelings and she might had helped “the devil” to invoke such feelings in the men in her family. Those men are supposed to be her safety net, her supporters, and her security against the world.

I’m sorry, but in what world is it okay to attribute the grave mistake I make towards my family or others to that of the “devil”.

The “devil” is an intangible entity yet I accuse him of being responsible of all my sins.

When will a person within this religion be responsible for his/her sins?

If a person is not held accountable for his sin because the “devil” enticed him, then why do we have a punishment system?

Even in our Holy Book it was said by our Creator that “the soul is able of bad deeds”. Regardless of the “devil”.

Take responsibility of your own sins and mistakes. Reform yourselves. Go get the therapy that you need, but not in any way shape or form do you excuse yourself form your mistake by saying “the devil enticed me”.

Sexual abuse is not limited to daughters it also includes sons.

Did the sons wear sexually provocative clothes to entice their fathers?

Ignore this whole post and give me someone will can answer my last question and I will delete this whole blog entirely.

My blog will last, because no one can answer my question.

I dare anyone to answer; condemning the son like people condemned the daughter.

The father who sexually molests his child of any gender is a murder.

A murderer of innocence.

The Big Bad Wolf ( Part One)

One of the many clergymen in this place I come from has a TV program. He receives phone calls through this program from people asking his advice on this or that issue. He would take a few questions at a time and then answer. This man listened to every question carefully. Then came along a lady caller who said (translating word by word): “I have a problem and it is embarrassing but I have to say it. I know someone who is sexually abusing his daughter, what can I do?” She began saying more and then he cut her off. He said:” I will talk about this in detail you do not have to say anymore”

She asked if she can have his number for advice. He said you can get my number through the people from this program. Several other questions came along about marital problems and dreams and so forth. He asked questions, there was give and take between these callers and him, but not with the woman who asked about the sexual abuse matter.

After listening to all the questions, he said I only have 6 minutes to answer so I will try my best. This lady mentioned that she knows of someone who sexually molests his daughter. This is abnormal and a sin.”

I thought great answer to such a series matter.

However he continues: “First a girl should not wear provocative close in front of her father. People! Some girls, especially those who are young and have beautiful bodies wear tight clothes, tight pants and short blouses and she sits with her father.  Her father is a “guy “after all and maybe he became attracted to his daughter.  He may have become attracted to her when he kissed or hugged her, the devil could have provoked in him those feelings. I urge this girl and others to not wear provocative clothes in front of their fathers. Maybe she has shown some part of her breast (??? I think he means cleavage) or other things with the thought that he is her father, the end result is that he is a “guy” so it do not wear tight clothes in front of him. Second, do not sit alone with the father, the daughter should make sure her mother or brothers are there with her until ultimately things work out and she gets married.”

Honestly I am NOT making this up. I wish I were.

Honestly I do not know what happened when and if the lady actually called this clergyman on a private line for more help. I do not know what he has advised her to do. He may have given this lady caller the help and advice she needed to deal with the situation. I do not know, but I know what others and I heard from this man himself.

Sexual abuse in any form and especially by a relative is a very sensitive subject worldwide.

Why did this clergy man assume that the girl in question was of age?

Why didn’t he ask how old the girl was?

Why didn’t he ask if the father was abusing drugs or alcohol?

From my understanding of his answer is that the girl might have been at fault and the father is after all just a “guy”.

What if the girl was 5 years old or six or seven?

Is that an appropriate answer to give?

He did not give the lady caller an opportunity to talk and he never asked any questions. Maybe he was saving his questions to be answered in private. I do not know.

Whatever the case, the father is either one of two: he is either a pedophile or sexual molester.

What does a father mean to both daughters and sons?

As a daughter it means to me: love, security, safety and hero. I am fortunate to have a father like mine.

Some fathers are negligent, others are emotionally distant and some can be verbally and physically abusive. Those issues can be handled be a child but not in any why can a daughter or son comprehend sexual abuse from a father.

This clergyman should have said the daughter did nothing wrong, she was in the safety of her father. Why did he assume that the girl was wrong? If and when sexual abuse happens it is the fault of the father, no one else.

If my father sexually abuses me, then I am at fault?

In what society, in what religion, in what philosophy does this apply?

In my society men are excused and forgiven of any sexual act with the given belief that it is the woman’s fault.  Whether she is under puberty, or a teenager he is excused because he is a “guy”.

It really makes me cry thinking of all the sexually molested girls, within any given age, who according to this clergyman and his likes are at fault.

It defies all logic, all decency.

My heart goes out to all those children of whatever age, male or female who have been sexually abused by their fathers.

I cry for you.

I think about you.

I worry about you.

Why? Because there is no savior. No one who will make it right for you. No one who will tell you it is not your fault. No one  will support you. No one will save you.

You will live with guilt.

A Hairy Situation….

Facial hair.

Men: moustache, beard, soul patch, goatee.

Women :embarrassing, laser treatments.

Where I come from, men highly value their facial hair. Each type of facial hair is a symbol for one thing or another.

Moustache: Every man has it. Every boy waits for it. Those who cannot grow one are pitied. It is a symbol of extreme manhood.

Beard: Every religious man has it. Some of them trim and color it, others just let it grow and dangle like a goat’s beard. It is a symbol of religion.

Goatee: For the mellow, also for those who don’t want a religious beard, so they go half way. It is a symbol, to be honest, of nothing.

Soul patch: Have yet to see it, seen in it in a few women though.

Facial hair, in my society is used in various situations. If a man wants to invite someone for dinner or lunch, he will say “don’t embarrass this moustache”, “with this beard you will come”. These type of men want to emphasize their generosity.

Another situation is that if a man enters any official institution he will say “I swear with this moustache, that you will service me” or “have respect for this beard and do this for me”.

If hair gave people importance and significance, then hair would not grow on the ass. (Quote from my husband)

The religious beard however is something different. Those with the religious beard are respected and highly regarded. When a man with this type of beard enters a room, everyone becomes silent. He is highly revered, even if he is the vilest person ever.

What about those people who do not have facial hair?

Are they not men?

Does facial hair define a man?

What about women who have facial hair?

Are they men?

I was raised by a man who never believed in all of this. This man respects and loves my mother. He will help her with the children, he will do laundry, he will cook, he will clean and even wash the dishes. He is involved in every aspect of his children’s lives.

Why?

Because he is a real man. He believes in equality and shared responsibility between a husband and wife

If any of these men with all their moustaches, beards or goatees heard of this, they will judge my father as not a real man.

These men, only come to their homes to eat and have sex. That is their definition of marriage and family. Those with a conscience will give money. However, there are some who expect their wives to pay. Their reasoning is: my wife should thank god that she has man like me. The wife has the responsibility of everything : the children, the house and him.

You be the judge. Who is a real man: those who highly regard whatever hair grows on their faces or men like my father?

Thankfully there are a lot of men like my dad; my beloved brothers,  god bless their souls, my dear husband and some of my friend’s fathers and husbands.

In my point of view, as a woman, men are defined by actions not facial hair.

How far can you spit?

Where I come from, there is a standing concrete belief in what is called the “evil eye”. The meaning of this belief is: do not tell people you are happy, do not say you have money, you are travelling, you have a good job, you have a maid, a driver, money and basically any good thing in your life. If you do so you are at risk that someone will “strike” you with his/her evil eye and everything will go wrong. This belief also includes, that you when describe your life, if it is good, then describe it as the opposite of what it really is. People here have associated diseases, car accidents and even death with the “evil eye”.

In this society, people are conditioned to believe in the evil eye from an early age. This belief allows them not to take responsibility of their own actions and subsequent reactions. It allows them not to believe in fate. However, this religion teaches that everything in this world happens for a reason and it is the will of the All-mighty.

This is a society that praises itself to the adherence to the religion’s laws yet they significantly contradict themselves. They follow every religious law, whether from olden times or recent, whether it makes sense or not, so when misfortune happens they are in disbelief. They think that this cannot happen to me, I am a good religious person, God won’t do that to me: so it is the “evil eye”.

If and when you are “struck” with a person’s “evil eye”, then you should take certain remedies. The remedies include; have the person you suspect has given you his/her evil eye drink from a cup. Then you should drink after them or wipe the places this person has been and wash your body with it. When this fails go to a “religious” man and have him read excerpts of the Holy Book and afterwards spit on you (this reminds me of a scene in the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”).

People here pay loads and loads of money to those “spitters”, just to free them from the grasps of the “evil eye”. People possessed go far and wide to these people and pay, they pay loads of money.

Personally, I went to one of these so called “spitters”, who possess the ability to heal people. I went out of curiosity. The “spitter” was a blind lady who charged 1$ to be spit on in public, or 50$ be spit on in private. I went for both.

The public spit: This blind lady would sit on a stool in the middle of the room; the ladies wanting to be healed sit on the floor with their heads bowed. She would recite from the Holy Book, touch the heads of those bowed and sends a spit in a circular motion so that it reaches everyone (reminds me of a scene from the movie “Wanted”). It was really hard for me to keep from laughing.

Then I went to the private “spitting”. She read from the holy book, and her spit was directed at me no one else. Then she said to me that I need many more private sessions in order to fully heal from the “evil eye”. She also sells holy water for 20$ a bottle.

This lady managed to have a villa, two maids, a driver and car. How? From spitting. People give her credit that she has healed them. This lady is one in a thousand all over this weird, strange place I live in. When I hear these stories, the
tune from “Twilight Zone” immediately plays in my mind.

Sounds like a good business. Preying on the weak minded in the name of religion.

You Have the Right to Remain Oppressed

The definition of the term “ police” by Merriam-Webster is: “: to supervise the operation, execution, or administration of, to  prevent or detect and prosecute violations of rules and regulations”. The rules and regulations mentioned in the definition are those established by civil society. Live but do not in any way hurt others.

Some mottos taken by police forces around the world include; “to serve and protect”, “to protect with courage to serve with compassion”, “honour, integrity and service”, and so on.

The police in all civilized societies protect and observe the law and maintain the safety of the people.

Where I come from we have a new form of police reminiscent of the middle ages, ridiculously called “ the religious police” This term was given by the western press for lack of a better one.

What do they do? The terrorize people; in the name of religion. In their eyes, they are pure and exempt of sins within this religion. However, with all evidence given and experienced, they are unsavoury.

For them the unmentioned guideline is: “I have no education, no future, but all I have to do is grow a beard and wear the cultural garment to the half of my leg and I gain absolute power. Wow! I get to order people around and abuse and condemn them. I am right there next to their god doing his orders (this is what so many people here believe)”.

Recently a ban was issued by “the religious police” on women who wear a type of a veil that showed the eyes. This ban stated that if a woman’s eyes were alluring or attractive in any way then it is compulsory that they cover them.

Who is the judge of that? Speaking as a woman; me or them?

Are they “the religious police” allowed to ogle me and then issue the verdict that my eyes are attractive or not and whether I should cover them, or not? What if they do not tell me to cover my eyes, should I be offended?

In one recent incident, that happened to me personally was this: I was in a mall, I don’t cover my face, I don’t put makeup when I go to malls. I have some shopping to do, I do it and then I leave. As I was passing by a member of this so called “religious police” told me to cover my face and he said: “uphold the religion’s rules, cover your face, “ help us help u” .

I should “help them” to “help me” ? What the hell did I do?

Religions, all religions, encourage peace and helping one another, but that concept is way high above “the religious police’s” ignorant heads.

These people were given the term “police”. In what way did they protect or serve me? None what so ever.  All that these people do is terrorize, intimidate and invade people’s personal freedom and dignity.

If members of this so called “religious police” want to improve the standards of society, there are so many opportunities to do so. There are so many sectors of this society who are poor, there are drug addicts, undereducated people, prostitution and teen pregnancies (yes, hard to believe but true, I went to some schools that have cases of prostitution and teen pregnancies).

Why not go and educate these people? Teach them some manual skills in order to provide jobs for them, encourage them to go to school and stay in school, teach them to improve themselves and rise above the misfortunes of their lives. Instead of collecting and donating money to the martyrs of the world, collect for these misfortune people. Why turn a blind eye on them?

People focus on the important issues and let people be.

 

Heads or tails?

How can we define being open-minded? Where I come from it is defined as being “free”.

What does that mean? People here know exactly what it means, but I disagree.

To me being open-minded is to be tolerant of everyone’s beliefs and convictions. Just because I have a certain belief system does not mean that others should have the same as mine. Nor does it mean I disrespect or act condescendingly towards those others.

What we have is two groups: “the religious” and “the liberal”. There is the moderate group, and others, but these two stand out.

These two groups cannot stand each other and are at war.

The religious group wants to mandate everything according to religion. They are correct and everyone else in the whole wide world is wrong. They want to live by standards that were lived by over 1400 years ago. They condemn, they fight and are self-righteous.

The liberal group? Some are actually quite cultured and civilized, and actually have a concept of life that is worth considering. They talk well, they live well.

However both groups have an extreme intolerance towards each other. They spend large amounts of time putting down and fighting each other.

I understand the “religious group”. They were conditioned from a young age that religion defines you. They do not have the ability to change and accept change in the society around them. They have created a comfort zone, where they don’t have to think for themselves. They feel any kind of change is a danger to that zone. So why should I fight them? Left them be.

The “liberal group” however are people who have defined themselves exempt from the society the live in. They idolize Western philosophes and concepts of life.  They live by the idea” live and let live”. They try to uncover all the contradictions that this society has and educate people about them. They try to reform.

I understand and sympathize with both points of view.

However, the contradictions that lie deep beneath both groups are baffling. They both have their faults and at times virtues.

But what I am trying to say that it is a war of words and words only. Each group is trying to outdo the other with words, either written or said. The end result? Nothing.

Both groups are intolerant towards each other and both exhibit the same kind of behavior. Both are not accepting to one another, that is why in my opinion I view them as being the same.

Both are not open-mined, they are two sides of one freaking coin.

Groupies…

As humans we have many different needs; physical, emotional and spiritual. We all know that.  As a young girl living here I was taught to suppress any emotional needs other than that of my friends and family. That is it. Any other emotional need is a sin and prohibited and is from the “devil”.

To people living where I am, I am being redundant. However, for people who know nothing about our society, this might be interesting.

So if you are an unmarried girl, it’s a sin to think of anything or anyone but god, your family and friends and only if they are “religious”.

Religious women here are conditioned to stifle their emotional and physical needs. In order to do that, they have willingly accepted all religious decrees without thinking and have believed that it is for their own good in this life and after life. As these women were growing up, a subconscious and conscious thought was put into their heads: you cannot and are not able to think for yourselves and need to be guided. Guided by who? By men, in particular, religious men. Even though I know some women here who can guide a whole tribe of men.

These religious women are “guided” by our esteemed and overvalued clergy men. What is funny is that all the religious clergy in this place I live in are all let us say “not handsome”. We cannot control how we look like. God gave us our physical features and we have to work with them. So, I am going to describe them merely as “not handsome” to say the least. Then came along a religious clergyman, who was different than all the others. To me, I don’t see him handsome at all but in comparison to all the others he is Brad Pitt.

So the idea of being “guided” by this so called “attractive” man of religion was delectable.

Willingly or unwillingly these women have found a way to fulfill the void in themselves through the admiration to this particular religious clergyman, whether they are married or not.

What the hell? Right?

What is funny that those religious women have become groupies to this particular “clergy man” .They follow his lectures, his “religious laws” to a tee.  They follow everything about him.

Why? Because he looks better than the others. Women have offered themselves as wives to him, of course never more than that, god forbid.

What do I call them? Groupies. Religious groupies. Merriam –Webster defines groupies as:  “an admirer of a celebrity who attends as many of his or her public appearances as possible” Really funny and to be honest kind of creepy.

Do you think this would happen with the Pope? No, religion is much more respected than that. Catholics have the faith and only that.

What do we have? Sheep.

Liar, Liar …Pants On Fire

Here I am again…

Job description: evaluate public schools. My government gives abundant amounts of money to insure that all students receive high quality education in a safe environment.

Does it happen? Not always

Recently there was a drastic fire in a private school, three school teachers died and many were injured. It was sad, very sad. The potential for this happening again is very high.

When I go to schools we make sure that the schools are safe. They are not safe. I went to a school recently and the principle of the school recharges the fire extinguishers  herself.  There is a specialized division in the ministry dedicated to this but they do not do their job.

I asked her why? She said that the “safety division” has not been cooperative and that she had to take matters in her own hands. She said that she I cannot afford to subject any one of her students to danger. She paid for the maintenance of the fire extinguishers herself.

Bravo for her. Shame on the ministry.

We go as teams to evaluate schools. I have been team leader for about 12 schools, nine out of those twelve, I have written to the ministry that safety measures have not been met, I go back to those schools and nothing has happened.

What actually happens? Press statements that all safety measures are met in public and private schools. Bullshit!

If it wasn’t for all of those school principles who have a conscience, shit will hit the fan.

Women in my society make up for the incompetence of their men. They are incompetent in so many ways except of stealing money from the weak and those who have no voice.

Speak up people..  You don’t have to be sheep.